NaNoPloMo Day 14: The Things People Say: Do you ever think about your birth parents?

When people find out I'm adopted they almost always ask about my birth parents. Since my reunion is brand spanking new, I've spent most of my life with precious few details to share.  A common question was, did I wonder about them?  Did I think about them?  The answer was always a resounding YES.  I didn't always share that answer, but the truth was I thought about them daily.  Even if I wasn't actively thinking about them, they occupied a little corner of my mind.  It seems that even now that I have found them, very little has changed.

I'm supposed to be blogging.  Daily.  Yet I cannot form a coherent thought let alone and eloquent sentence because

I can't stop thinking about my birth parents.

 

 

No, really.  I realized yesterday that I was thinking about them non-stop.  I'd be trying to accomplish something and all of a sudden, BAM! I was thinking about them again.  I didn't get much done.  I mostly wandered around the house

 

THINKING ABOUT MY BIRTH PARENTS.

I used to wonder about them.  What did they look like?  What did they sound like?  Who were they? Did they think about me?

Now that I know them, the thoughts have changed, but rest assured there are still plenty of thoughts. What are they doing?  What are they telling people? What do they think about all this?  Are they thinking about me?

I find that I get antsy if too much time goes by without talking to them.  It's that same terrified feeling rising to the surface -- the same one I used to feel when I didn't know if I would ever find them. 

 

But I have.

 

 

And they love me.

 

 

 

 

 

So please forgive my ginormous NaNoPloMo fail.  There's a lot of great writing out there; it just doesn't happen to be coming from me.  I had the best of intentions, but trying to write about adoption means thinking about adoption... and thinking about adoption means think about them...and thinking about them is already pretty much a full time job.   

 

I form thoughts in my brain and they come out my fingers as mush.  (I might not have a lot of posts this month, but I have oodles of drafts!)  Reunion has turned my brain to jello.

 

Gloriously happy, sometimes sad and angsty, but still pretty darned sparkly jello.

 

And for once, the glitter isn't bothering me a bit.